Parental behavior not only shapes your child’s behavior, but the entire team’s culture, as well. Kids learn by example, and how involved a parent is can affect whether or not a child enjoys their club volleyball experience. When one becomes a team parent, organizes team bonding experiences, and gets to know the other team parents a parent culture begins to form. This unified system of support plays an important role in teaching our kids what it means to be a part of a team, especially younger children who are just entering the sport of volleyball.
Being a supportive parent and a positive role model goes a long way. When you display self-control in the stands and after a match, your child learns self-control. And when you cheer for everyone, your child is more likely to cheer for everyone, too. When you celebrate a good play, even if it’s from the other team, you are promoting good sportsmanship.
Conversely, negative parental support and pressure can result in competitive anxiety, interpersonal difficulties among teammates, and even quitting. Not being present during a match and instead, staring at your phone, or not sitting on the sidelines supporting your player can lead to self-doubt, frustration, and anger. This ultimately affects the entire team when one player isn’t completely focused on the match.
Parents: Do not underestimate the impact and influence that you have on your child’s volleyball experience.
Positive or negative parent culture can infiltrate an entire team’s culture very quickly. Parents who bond and create a unified cheering bench can lift up an entire team, and the entire unit — coaches, kids, parents — work to create a memorable season for everyone. Remember, a memorable season does not necessarily mean a winning season. When parents complain, whether it’s about court time or how a coach handles the team, and others join in, the parent side of the team becomes fractured or broken, and the entire unit breaks down.
As our children age and become more confident in themselves and their abilities, they still need their parent’s support, but allowing them to make their own decisions, mistakes, or accomplishments independently from us is key in order for them to flourish. Stepping away from our role as parents can be difficult but it’s necessary in order for our children to become successful adults.
Encourage your child to figure things out on their own and be there for emotional support. Support the coach and their decisions and embolden your child to speak to the coach themselves. Remind them that a commitment has been made and that they can’t quit the team, or themselves, just because they may not see the court time that you feel they deserve. Encourage them to work harder and prove their value to the team and you will see them on the court more. How players behave on the bench can affect their court time as well.
It’s also important to point out that prior to committing to a team, you and your child should sit down and really evaluate what’s most important for that particular season. Goals are going to change from season to season. Is it getting on that top team where they may not see the most court team or is it improving their volleyball skills? Realize that if your child plans to play in college, coaches don’t only evaluate kids on the top teams, they are looking at kids across all levels of play. Coaches will come to watch your child play if your child reaches out to them and the coach is interested.
Here are some easy but important reminders to be a successful volleyball parent:
- Express unconditional love
- Be the parent and let the coach do his or her job
- Lighten Up: Don’t take the game so seriously
- Think realistically about your child’s abilities
- Volunteer to help your child’s team
- Let your child play their game, not YOURS
- Avoid comparing your child to another athlete or sibling
- Show gratitude for all victories, big and small
- Support the whole team, not just your child
- See the bigger picture
A good volleyball season doesn’t always mean a winning season. A good volleyball season should be one that allows your child to learn and improve, gain confidence, get along with everyone, and be able to look back and feel good about the past season. This is just as true for us parents, too. We should all be able to reminisce about the fun and enjoyment we had during those years of club volleyball together and hopefully have made some friendships along the way.